It鈥檚 a great day until you tell your toddler no. Suddenly, your child transforms and jumps into a full-blown temper tantrum.听
鈥淭hese are emotional outbursts young children can have,鈥 says Dr. Lauren Webb, instructor of psychology in psychiatry at AV研究所. 鈥淭antrums occur when kids experience really big feelings they don鈥檛 have the skills to handle or cope with yet.鈥听
Keep reading to learn more about this normal part of child development and how you can help prevent them or move past them.听
Why Toddlers Have Temper Tantrums听
There are many reasons toddlers are prone to tantrums. Common triggers include:听
- Fatigue听
- Frustration听
- Hunger听
- Undeveloped communication skills听
Most of your child鈥檚 temper tantrums occur from age 12 months to 3 years. During this time, your child may have at least one tantrum a day, according to the . These fits are less common after age 3 and rare after age 5.听
During tantrums, your child may scream, cry, throw things, flail around violently, become limp and fall to the ground, hit or bite. These tantrums typically can last from a few minutes to 15 minutes. Afterward, your child鈥檚 behavior returns to normal.听
Strategies to Prevent and Manage Meltdowns听
Some temper tantrums are inevitable, but there are some ways that you can try to avoid them.听
Here鈥檚 what you can do to reduce the number of tantrums your toddler throws and minimize their effect.听
Preventing Temper Tantrums听
To stop a tantrum before it begins, try these tips.听
- Choose your battles. Your child has to wear a seatbelt and a bicycle helmet. However, your child doesn鈥檛 have to wear matching clothes. Let your child win small battles that don鈥檛 have long-term consequences. Alternatively, you can give them the choice to choose what they can control, i.e. asking them if they want to put on their seatbelt or their helmet first.听
- Look for warning signs. 鈥淵ou might see their little feet stomping and their little fists balling up, or they may get an edge in their tone,鈥 Dr. Webb says. 鈥淲hen you notice this, try to validate their emotions while still maintaining your limit, and praise them for behaviors that are going well (for example, you can praise them for using gentle hands even while they are whining).鈥听
- Minimize triggers. If hunger or tiredness leads to temper tantrums, keep food on hand for vulnerable moments and reconsider your child鈥檚 nap schedule or bedtime.听
Putting an End to the Tantrum听
Despite your efforts, some temper tantrums sneak through. When they do, here鈥檚 how to bring them to an end.听
- Call for a time-out. When a child is throwing a tantrum, put the child in a time-out that lasts about three minutes for every year of age. Communicate to children what behaviors will result in a time-out and be consistent with implementing time-outs for these behaviors.听听
- Ignore minor attention-seeking behaviors. Kids may tantrum to gain attention. To stop minor attention-seeking behaviors, such as whining or crying, it may help to ignore them.听
- Protect your child鈥檚 safety. When a tantrum puts your child in harm鈥檚 way, move your child to a safe place to prevent injury.听
- Remain calm. As you explain the consequences for unacceptable behavior, try to use a neutral tone of voice. Maintain your composure and use the language your child understands. Take a break if you need it.听
- Seek help. 鈥淲hen temper tantrums start to get in the way of your child鈥檚 life or your family鈥檚 life,鈥 Dr. Webb says, 鈥渋t鈥檚 time to seek help.鈥听
In Summary: How to Quell Temper Tantrums听
Temper tantrums can seem to come out of nowhere, but 迟丑别测鈥檙别 a normal part of development. With a few steps, you can help your child have fewer tantrums and move through them safely.听
- Tantrums occur when your child experiences big emotions they do not yet have the skills to process. Common triggers include fatigue, frustration, and communication difficulties.听听
- You can reduce the number of tantrums your child throws by understanding your child鈥檚 triggers and vulnerabilities, choosing your battles wisely and knowing the warning signs of an impending tantrum.听
- When your child throws a tantrum, stay calm, keep your child safe, and seek help if appropriate.听
Need a helping hand with your child鈥檚 temper tantrums? at AV研究所 today.听
